Jimi
Hendrix, The Doors, The Beatles, Bob Marley, Joy Division, Janice Joplin.
Living fast and dying young, these musicians existed for a moment and then were
gone, leaving only a starburst of happy memories for the people who were lucky
enough to have witnessed them and a catalogue of wonderful music.
The
Sex Pistols, The Rolling Stones, every 80’s band which existed and are now
touring at Christmas, Status Quo, U2 and even, I hate to say it, Led Zeppelin. This
group of illustrious musicians have all made that serious mistake
of either not dying young or continuing well beyond their sell by date. The ones which reform after a hiatus of far
too many years are even worse still.
I
was a huge fan of the Jesus & Mary Chain during the 1980s.
They
wore leather trousers and boots, had wild hair and sang songs about sex and
drugs. They got drunk in the Blue Peter garden – I challenge any 19year old boy at the time to have not liked them. I saw them performing on television last week, fat and balding and now when I think Jesus & Mary chain I don’t think,
cool and rebellious anymore, I think sad, fat men desperately trying to
recreate something which has long since gone – they have ruined it for me.
My
advice, should they ask, would be - don’t do it and if you have done it to stop
it immediately. Take Paul McCartney as an example - still sporting the tight
clothes and that look of faint shock as he sings. This might have been
endearing to the girls packing out the Cavern Paul, now its just crap.
Off
the top of my head I can only think of two who have managed to do it well, that
is The Who and Tom Jones. Now I will own up to a personal bias towards The Who
but I have no time at all for Tom. I can however see how he has managed to stay
up to speed and relevant, reveling in his age rather than trying to hide it
behind makeup and personal trainers.
You
will therefore understand my absolute dismay when I read about next year’s
reunion of the Stone Roses.
This
was a band which in my mind quite comfortably sit alongside the rock gods I
have already mentioned. For a very short period in the late 1980s and part of
the way into 1990 they ruled supreme with their anti-fashion and of course the music.
1990 was for some, the second summer of love and the Stone Roses provided the
soundtrack. They were cool, young and didn’t give a fuck. Their 60’s inspired
music was the perfect tonic for a generation of 18-25 year olds dying a slow
musical death at the end of a musically dire decade. The whole Manchester scene
came along and turned this on its head. In my opinion the 1990’s was a great
period for music and the Stone Roses were the catalyst for this change.
I
saw them in their last concert in 1990 on Glasgow Green. It was summer time and
the air was thick with varying types of smoke. Inside a huge marquee the Roses
blasted their way through their short musical repertoire, the atmosphere was
electric. Nothing was going to stop this - this would last forever.
Of
course, summer became autumn, the Roses split and we all got older, got jobs,
stopped smoking and joined gyms. Their legacy was untouched, a legacy which remained
intact. That is until last month.
I
watched in absolute horror as four men sat giving a news conference to announce
their reunion - we have unfinished business they told the packed room.
Each
of them have aged very badly. Ian Brown 20 years ago had Jim Morrison-esq boyish
good looks - now he looks like a mummified scrotum. The rest are the same, the only
exception being Reni, the drummer – he looks like a normal 40 something man, because
that’s exactly what he is. He gave up the rock thing when they split.
All
in all it was a little embarrassing to watch. In fact Reni and John Squire
looked like they would rather be anywhere else rather than sat facing the
packed media scrum.
Only
Ian Brown and Mani seemed to enjoy it. They walked in with a cocky swagger,
full of themselves – look how great we are. Again, this works well in your 20's, aged 47
it’s just looks silly, or odd. Like a bearded man in a dress with a deep
voice.
I am
not sure how this reunion can have any upside at all, other than making
millions for the four band members what’s the point? This is probably the only point.
From
my perspective this can only be a lose-lose situation. Like Maradonna doing
anything else in football again, or anything at all again for that matter. The only way is down.
They
will not be able to recreate the sound - that I guarantee. Either they will
rehearse too much and sound good (they weren’t noted for their live ability) or
worse still, be bloody awful and in todays X-Factor world this will be a
disaster.
Either
way I am totally against it and will boycott it, I might even protest.
All
I want is to be able to play the music to my children, tell them stories about
how good they, and a lot of other bands, were. I want to be able to say it
without running the risk of them saying ‘yeeeesss dad we saw them on the TV
yesterday and they were fucking awful now please put One Direction back on
would you?’
Please,
please, please, please don’t do it.
